What Are You Desiring?


Desire

A beautiful poem by 13th century poet Matchild of Magdeburg inspired me to question myself. I will post the poem in here as well.

What am I desiring? What are you desiring?

Are you desiring comfort, security, safety, guarantee of existence through material, impermanent stuff?

Are you desiring comfort, security, safety, guarantee of existence through your relationships with others who are desiring the same?

Are you desiring pain free, suffering less life through these impermanent and materialistic relationships to things and people?

We all desire the same but with different intensity and focus. I know I do.

spider-web-1185949_1920

Somewhere in that web of desires, there is a pocket that is craving for happiness and peace for self and family.

No matter how trapped we think we are in the big web of relationships to things and people, ultimately we are all desiring to be in that tiny pocket of the massive web – the pocket that quivers wildly every now and then as the breeze of the Divine touches it asking to break free from the rest of web and join with it so our love can be perfected free from the web of pain and suffering.

Isn’t that the journey we are actually on? A desire to create and enjoy lasting happiness and peace for us?

But that desire is buried under the layers of our immediate desires.  What is your immediate desire that masquerades the real desire?

I know my immediate desire is to break free from the intense egoistic attachments that make me feel indispensable.

If I stop thinking I am indispensable to my family and not anticipate every need of its members and provide in advance, while reeling in the need for recognition, resenting that feeling at the same time, then, perhaps, I can understand the real desire behind the desire – a desire to be happy, to be free, to be peaceful, to be – just TO BE.

What is stopping me from doing that? The egotistic me that thinks I am needed/wanted/required by others to lead their lives.  Really?

Truth is – They do and they don’t – need me, want me and require me.

I certainly don’t need that  for my existence.  Oh what a blow to my ego? What would I be if I am not a wife, mother, sister, daughter to someone? Who would I be if don’t have those roles to define myself and identify with? How am I to derive happiness and feel the love without playing a role?

Do I desire to be in these roles in order to perfect my love?  Is that the only way I can experience love – in relationship to something?  A love that can easily turn into a dislike or even hatred – is that real love? or is it a desire to protect my identity that is changing constantly? Can I detach from that clingy desire that makes me forget who I truly am…

Divine love

Metchild of Magdeburg (1207> – 1282> or 1297?) in her poem “God Speaks to the Soul” says

“And God said to the Soul:
I desired you before the world began.
I desire you now
As you desire me.
And where desire of two come together
There love is perfected”

So what am I desiring then?  Do I really desire to come together with Divine to perfect my love? Not consciously.  My desire and I am sure yours too is to live in this day to day life with that perfect partner, lover, child, sibling etc., who will exactly reciprocate our love the way we give.

In that desire arises the unrecognized competition that says – I have given, why can’t you give back in exact proportion and intensity?  Is that a sustainable desire that will help perfect love or find lasting happiness?

When the desire of two coming together is laced with expectations and attachments – it cannot last nor can that love be perfected.

Well the answer, at least, theoretically would be – I AM…

I AM

Every word I fill in after that I AM… is a role I created in this drama of attachment and entanglement of desires I play.  All I need really is to be aware of those roles i fill in whilst rooted in my being ‘I Am.’

If my prime desire to fill in the blank after I AM is LOVE – how would I behave? Worth trying?

When I AM LOVE, my desire would be to merge with that LOVE and that is the only desire I am born with to fulfill.  Every other desire in this journey is a stepping stone to recognize that true desire for which we are born.

As the poet Kabir said

My body is flooded
With the flame of Love.
My soul lives in
A furnace of bliss.

Love’s fragrance
Fills my mouth,
And fans through all things
With each outbreath.”
outbreath

Can we desire for that perfect LOVE only and break free from the trapped web of attachments and expectations?

What do you think? Is it easy, worth trying? Would love to hear your thoughts…

Until next time

With Love and Respect

Padma Ayyagari

 

 

 

 

 

Can We Stop The Violence and Create Peace In The World?


Peace & Violence

Mass shootings in Oregon in USA, two people shot dead in front of Paramatta police station in Sydney (one victim and one perpetrator), USA bombing in Afghanistan of a hospital (collateral damage is the claim), refugees fleeing out of their homelands, increasing deaths due to domestic violence (66 deaths in 9 months in Australia alone), human trafficking etc etc etc.,

How did humans become so violent – profiting from, mutilating and killing each other? To what end?

The violence I mentioned above on the global scale also plays on an individual level.  Our minds are “bubbling hot baths of violence” when we

  • Contradict, dislike, judge each other subtly or openly,
  • Constantly compare with each other,
  • Live in the artificial world of ‘us & them’
  • Spew negativity in the name of wanting to understand,
  • Get stronger in our own convictions even if they openly hurt another,
  • encourage cut throat competition in the name of fulfilling ambitions
  • consume excessively  created by extensive wants and desires…

Result is low self-esteem, over confidence, depression, fears, anxiety, scarcity thinking, hoarding, substance dependence to get away from all of that, which creates more problems.

We simply have forgotten how to live simply.

Global wars and crimes are micro played in our  minds first and we become blame shifters – it is the

  • Government’s fault,
  • The law’s fault,
  • Police not doing enough or
  • Religion’s fault.

Our phobias increase rampantly as we desperately isolate groups or individuals to pin blame on.

We are spending more money on weapons instead of educating people.

We spend time and effort and money on finding essential elements for survival in space (water on Mars) while actively contaminating and pilfering the precious resources here now on earth that we call home. Geroge Monbiot said in his recent article – “The richer a country becomes, the less its people care about their impact on the living planet.”

How is finding water on Mars save children who die daily because they don’t have access to clean water?  How is selling guns to countries who can’t feed their population an answer to their problems?

Where are we heading collectively?

I am sure these are questions that everyone ask of themselves, shake their heads helplessly and go back to living in their safe silos and hot heads (me included) – too far away, not my problem.  We have food, clothes, shelter – the basic necessities and we belong to a family, a community that is our safety net. We believe that one day someone somewhere will come up with a magic solution to all the problems…

Bonding, Belonging and Believing – three essential ingredients for human happiness.

Is it enough to have these three at individual level?  Is that even happening at an individual level?

How bonded are we with each other beyond our immediate family and even within our immediate family?

Do we feel safe in belonging in our communities – of course that depends on which community or country we are talking about.

Do we believe that solutions t0 problems are other people’s headaches?

Where do we individuals stand on these global issues – are we not responsible individually and collectively, no matter how immediate or far removed the issues are from us?

The gadgetry distractions we have created for ourselves, the fear induced selfishness which is making us become increasingly indifferent – are these the values that we are passing on to our children?

If we feel responsible, what can we do?

What do we teach our children?

What are we teaching ourselves?

When we know this is not who we are, how do we go about finding who we truly are?

How do we put an end to, may be not possible to put an end to, but at least curb the violence we witness each day?

Here is what I think (for what it is worth)

To curb violence in the world, we need to stop violating ourselves first and foremost.  We need to go back to the fundamental Human Values that are inherent in all of us.  We need to actively teach our children what these values are and how it helps them grow up to be caring human beings.

Bonding and belonging is more important than any thing else. So instead of creating bonds with gadgets for our children because we are busy, can we perhaps make time to give them our time instead of a gadget and create bonds that last. Research shows that IPad usage by two year old children may harm language development which means inability to express which means inability to communicate and we know what that can lead to.

Yes, we don’t have control over global scale violence, but…

We have control over how we can

  • Develop the inner moral compass of our children,
  • Enhance their sensitivity to moral cues,
  • Make them become aware of our interdependence and
  • Teach them to live with personal integrity which helps them to take responsibility for their state of minds and actions.

Here is a free educational program that does just that for 4 to 6 year old children.  Use this program for your own children or gather a group of children from your local community and teach them.  Catch them young and mold their minds.

What else can we do?

We can stop being excessive consumerists and limit our desires

The older generation has so much wisdom that the young needs to learn from beyond the three R’s, in fact more than reading, writing and arithmetic, children today need to learn Resilience, Resonance and Reflection.

Retired people among us can volunteer their time with local High Schools and mentor the kids there especially the ones that are not coping with the demands of high school.  Show them how valuable they are, teach them how to respond and not react, as well as the value of being kind, being healthy, being helpful, forgiving, taking care of themselves and the planet etc.

They need to understand and practice the values of Love, Truth, Peace, Right Conduct and Non-Violence.  For that they need adults in their lives who practice and demonstrate those values in action.

We may not be able to solve the worlds problems, but we certainly can help in our local communities particularly children and young adults and create loving bonds and a sense of belonging that will stop them from straying away, becoming depressive and suicidal or violent like the 15 year old boy in Sydney who ended up dying.

We want a peaceful society, it is up to us to create that.  We are not helpless in doing that. We need to put our own inhibitions aside, limit our desires and the resulting consumption.   We need to  take genuine interest in the welfare of our next generation and use the freed up time and resources for the welfare of the community that we live in.

Let us form little ‘Circles of Safety’ and bring our younger generations into those circles and equip them to become character laden citizens.

We have nothing to lose and everything to gain – do you agree?

Would love to know what you think and how we should go ahead with this…Please drop a line in with your comments and action plans

Until next time

With Love and Respect

Padma Ayyagari