“3 Enemies That Rob Your Health – Part 2”


stressed and worried
stressed and worried (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Do you know what is the 2nd Enemy that robs your health? An enemy that is likely the biggest cause of most diseases from high blood pressure to heart attacks to cancers? An enemy that is our constant companion ”until death do us apart”

Do you know what it is?

WORRY – an invading, pervading, contracting, utterly debilitating and a totally unnecessary force.

From security of you to safety of your loved ones, from how you look to what others think of you and a whole range of things in between – mostly about your loved ones, you constantly worry.

Right now, amongst many other things, I am worried that I cannot write about Worry properly.

You really don’t need any reason for worry – do you?  You worry about worrying so much. You worry if you don’t have anything to worry about.

In the darkness of the night, when you are lying in bed fast asleep, worry arrives marching like an army band proudly displaying all its shiny brass instruments, playing same songs again and again without harmony, to the steady beat of the big drums that increasingly get louder with every beat , creating a cacophony of noise, drowning and sinking you.

The sizzling hot iron of worry in a cold night somehow cools down and melts like snow in the warmth of the day light. Worry gets blinded by the light and goes to sleep – temporarily, only to wake up again to play.

Why do you worry so much – knowing that it doesn’t offer any solutions, knowing that it doesn’t allow you to act.

There is mild worry like a dull head ache and there is chronic worry that causes anxiety and panic attacks.

What do you do about it – if anything?

Can you ever be worry free?

Yes, only when you are a mindfully mindless saint  or a mindlessly stiff corpse.

Anywhere in between, which is where we all are, we will have to accept that worry will be an unwanted guest that is irritatingly polite but stubborn in insisting that we need its company.

What do you do with it then?

  • You allow it to raise its head and announce its presence
  • You acknowledge its arrival
  • You tolerate its arguments
  • You don’t counter argue with it
  • You get compassionate with it and tell it that you know it is concerned
  • You assure it that you are doing everything you can about its concerns.
  • You breathe deeply and say ‘I understand’
  • Now that you have promised to address its concerns, you ask it to be quiet
  • You love it and make peace with it

In other words, you are not caught up in its story. You listen to its story like a mother listening to a child who is hurt and throwing a tantrum – with deep understanding and empathy, without judgment.

Remember Understanding leads to Adjustment – so you say ‘Yes’ to its presence, show that you understand its concerns and watch how happily it dissolves into nothingness trusting that you will take care of its case, so well presented.

So, in the middle of the night, when worry clings to you, stroke it gently and say ‘ I love you, I understand’ and ask its permission to release you from its grip.  Then, write down that worry/worries, on pieces of paper and deposit them in a drawer or even a shoe box labelled ‘Worries’.  A physical act like that is saying ‘yes’ to its presence, acknowledging and comforting it that you have taken an action and asking permission to be released.

It is a game, but you have to play it so Worry becomes a friend that is honest and loyal and intervenes only when necessary, not a foe that destroys you.  Hurrying the worry to go away does not help, it will only return with increased force.  Hurry also causes worry.

So, do you have any other tricks or tips to stop Worry to cause dis-ease?  Tell  me.

Visit here again next week for the 3rd enemy that robs your health.

Until then – don’t worry……..please

With Love and Respect

Padma Ayyagari

The Real Reason Behind Procrastination……….


Procrastination
Procrastination (Photo credit: Emilie Ogez)

 

Procrastination – is a familiar word to all of us.  Every single one of us would have experienced this at one time or the other in our lives. We put things off, sometimes for a short period of time and yet at other times indefinitely.  We get anxious when we think of those things that we are putting off, briefly pick up, look at them and then delay finishing.  We often give ourselves very good excuses, justifications for not doing.

 

Procrastination is a subject written about extensively. Any number of solutions are on offer to conquer it.  What am I going to add that is new or what solution would I offer that is not already given?

 

Well, in putting off the inevitable – yet again, I realized a very important truth about this whole subject – the real reason why I procrastinate.

 

What do I hope to achieve in putting off the inevitable, or putting off things to do?  Why do I resist the knowing urge to act now? Why do I postpone things?

 

Procrastination helps me ‘Buy Time’ or so I think.

 

Delaying to Buy Time – such a fallacy.

 

When I look at the artificially created calendar, it comforts and acknowledges my continued mortality and the mental unrest due to pressed anxiety will ease in the short term.

Is that why I postpone – to comfort myself that I am going to live that much longer? Does that hope, ambition, expectation create a rush in me to live?  Am I scared that if I finish doing everything that I have to do now, there is no reason for me to live for tomorrow?

Is that it?  Procrastination helps me ‘Buy Time’ ?

I live in a big bubble of illusion thinking that I can stop the clock by delaying.  Small or big – the size of the issue or thing is not the question.  The fundamental  principle in resistance induced procrastination is the false hope that I am applying brakes on my guaranteed mortality.  I want to continue my life and living.  As long as I have hopes pinned on ‘One Day’ set at some arbitrary distant future, I feel comforted that I could live until then to see it through.

 

Needs, Wants, Desires,  Ambitions, Hopes, Expectations,  – they are the drivers of life.  Procrastination and Delaying are the brakes that temporarily stop the wheel of time – or so I think.

I fool myself that in delaying I have actually stopped the clock.  But my mind rotates along with the clock that never stopped, while my eternal clock that counts down my life ticks closer to the zero hour.

 

I don’t like to dwell on ‘what if’s’ but I don’t mind living in “if then’s”

 

The “What If” scenarios – “What If I fall sick”, “What if I have an accident and die”, “What if I cannot deliver/do/keep my promise” etc., etc., gets answered with a promising “If I…………, then I can………..” and buys time. You fill in the blanks.

 

The fear induced by “What If’s” are comforted by “If, then, I can’s” false assurances of our immortality, and the clock ticks as we settle our minds temporarily in its permanent impermanence.

 

Am I buying time or Am I wasting time?

 

If my existence is timed on earth, every moment I delay in doing what I am meant to be doing – I am wasting time.  On the other hand, if I think I am immortal (funnily enough we think that without ‘thinking’) then every decision postponed, I am buying time (Not),.

 

Deep down I know that my existence is limited and my days are numbered and yet on surface I act as though I am going to be eternal – and there is the conflict within me.

I can never be at peace with myself when two sub currents of ‘Push and Pull’ exist.  That unrest shows in me as emotional irritability, the deep discontentment, the anxiety, the frustration, the emotional ups and downs, the entire zeal we call living.

 

Many solutions are offered in conquering this self defeating enemy called Procrastination – they work for brief periods of time until we forget again.  So what is a solution that we cannot overlook –

 

Observing the Push and Pull of Time with awareness and remembering that the next minute is not ours

 

How do we do that?

 

We will explore that in the next blog………..

 

Until then, let me know what you think.

 

With Love and Respect

 

Padma Ayyagari