People generally do not hesitate to freely discuss how others look and behave – fat, skinny, beautiful, ordinary, ugly, tall, short, gay, normal, abnormal etc, etc, and the list goes on…judging from physical to mental to emotional to social and even spiritual attributes – constantly eyed, compared, judged and compartmentalized.
We don’t feel comfortable unless we put everyone into neatly classified and categorized little pigeon holes and derive images based on those compartments. We hold people to those images and get confused if they don’t fit in that, day after day, not realising nor remembering that people including ourselves, change on a daily basis.
Why do we do that? Intentionally or unintentionally, consciously or unconsciously, with or without malice, we constantly weigh and counter weigh our interactions with each other. Why?
Is it because we create our own identity through those comparisons? “I am not THAT fat, I am MORE beautiful than her (often it is the opposite), I DON’T get angry like him, I will NEVER behave like that” – on and on it goes. We try to establish ourselves in some kind of a pecking order and either feel elated that we are NOT like the negativity we observe or feel dejected that we can NEVER be like the positive or beautiful…
Not a day goes by without comparisons. Judgments and criticisms constantly plague people’s minds and make them feel inferior or superior. All this happens within split seconds and often judgments are passed as observations. In those observations, we make a point of saying without saying that I am better or worse than that.
Expressed observations also are judgments only without the lace of criticism or ridicule. Our identity primarily stems from comparison and belonging. Without saying it loud, we form tribes based on our likes and dislikes.
Is it possible not to do that? Is it possible to have a mind so clear as a lake on a windless, summer morning – clear, shiny, bright and still – the occasional breeze of thought gently rippling over the surface and settling immediately into its own stillness? Is it possible to have a mind like that?
YES, IT IS POSSIBLE…
When the occasional ripple of thought does not become a rip or a whirlpool, yes, the mind can be clear and still. When thoughts entering are not acted on or reacted to, they quickly settle to the bottom into the debris of the lake bed.
A stone of judgment thrown into the mind’s lake will sink and stir the debris. But the only way the lake gets polluted is if the winds of emotions continue to hit the surface of the lake and keep the stone swirling and does not give a chance to settle the stirred debris. We cannot get rid of the stone/s. Stones enter into a lake, let them and see that they sink to the bottom rapidly. Dont’ try to dig them out.
Let thoughts enter and settle in. We don’t need to keep digging the thoughts out with statements like – “I shouldn’t, I mustn’t, I couldn’t” or statements/expressions like – “How could she/he/they/it”, or even thoughts like”How could I”…
These ‘should’s, musts, could’s’ are the strong currents that keep the stones from sinking.
So, how can we not do that?
Recognize the fact that judgments do not offer comfort. They are divisive and keep us separate from each other. Judgments are directly proportional to separatist attitudes.
We are the various branches of the one tree. Lord Krishna said – “I have separated myself from myself, so I can experience myself”. We all came from the one source and return back to the same source. The brief sojourn we face on this earth is the colorful manifestation of that one source separated from itself into tiny fragments – complete and incomplete at the same time. How can a fragment judge another fragment which is part of the same whole? The whole cannot be formed unless the fragments join together like a jig saw puzzle. The picture is incomplete even if one piece is destroyed.
We know this intellectually and yet fail to practice as we fall prey to the rampantly prevailing contemporary competition – a monologue that bombards us with a message that we can only be complete if we are better than..something or somebody. This is filtered from individuals through to the countries even with lightening speed and velocity. We get sucked into this without realizing. It takes all our efforts to extricate ourselves from that message and reach deep within to the comfort offered by that Source which whispers gently – “YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE”
How do we listen to that whisper?
Regular Meditation and deep breathing are a couple of practices that would help us to listen to that whisper and allow it to take over. Meditation increases the Gamma Brain wave activity which is nature’s best anti-depressant. Gamma Brain Waves are associated with ‘feelings of blessings’ and high Gamma Brain wave activity equals naturally happier, calmer and more at peace people.
As we become more at peace we stop judging ourselves, therefore others and a feeling of oneness grows.
This feeling of oneness and unity is what offers comfort as we grow as a community. Judgments NEVER offer comfort….
What do you think? Drop a comment here..Would love to hear from you
Until next week
With Love and Respect